The abrupt transition to online school last year was less than ideal and has left families dreading virtual classes in the fall. So in order to support a successful year, I have created a Remote Learning Survival Guide, with some simple steps for parents of ADHD kids. Be sure to check out Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, Step 4, and Step 5 before diving into the rest of the guide!

Step 6: Bust out the reward charts

Of course you are very familiar with this step. I feel confident that every parent reading this blog post has used a sticker chart, ticket exchange, or some type of reward system for their child at some point. 

I'm guessing that it worked well for a while and then gradually your kiddo lost interest, or you ran out of ideas for rewards, and eventually you abandoned it altogether.

That's totally understandable.

But I'm here to tell you that this remote learning situation is the perfect time to bring one back on board. If you'd like to change it up, here are a few simple options to try:

Sticker charts

• Probably the most classic standby, sticker charts are usually a line of empty boxes drawn on a sheet of paper. When your child earns a sticker, they place it in a box. When all of the boxes are filled, they have earned their reward.
• Have your kiddo help create the actual chart even, or at least decorate it with pictures of the reward they are working toward to increase excitement about it. 

Ticket exchange

• Use tickets or plastic coins that can be exchanged for different items or activities. They can choose when and how they want to spend these--either cash them in quickly for a small reward or choose to save for a bigger prize

Earned screen time

• Some kids are so motivated by screen time that this may be a simple exchange system. Framing screen time as an earned reward is a positive reinforcement that is more motivating than threatening to take it away.
• This can also help kids to learn how to create balance around videos and video games. For example, spending 30 minutes biking around the park could earn you 15 minutes of screen time. Let them know that if they want to spend more time playing a video game, it should be balanced by having some physical activity too.

Whatever system you are using, there are a few important things to remember:

Make the steps toward a reward small but attainable

• You want to be able to reward the small wins--working hard on a difficult worksheet, taking a moment to calm down when frustrated, brushing their teeth without being asked, etc. This might mean that you will need to increase the number of stickers required to earn that pizza and movie night. But it is most important that you are calling out these wins.

Make the reward something that can be achieved within a week or less

• If the reward is too far in the future, it will likely not be motivating for them. This is particularly true for the ADHD brain, where something a month away feels like a lifetime.

Rewards don't have to be physical items

• Pick rewards that work for your kiddo and your family. It could be a special outing with a parent; a privilege like choosing dinner, dessert, or a movie; an extra 15 minutes of video games; a coupon for getting out of a chore--the options are almost endless!

Most likely you will find that excitement and therefore motivation about earning rewards fizzles out over time. When you notice the reward system isn't serving its purpose, switch it up! You may even be able to rotate through the ones that you use. Keeping things interesting is crucial to the ADHD brain, and shiny new objects are our friends.

It can also be a good idea to get your kiddo's input on what type of system and rewards they would be most excited about. Give them some examples of the types of prizes you would be willing to offer and see how they respond. Getting them excited about earning things will help to make sure your plan is a success!

​You've got this!

The abrupt transition to online school last year was less than ideal and has left families dreading virtual classes in the fall. So in order to support a successful year, I have created a Remote Learning Survival Guide, with some simple steps for parents of ADHD kids. Be sure to check out Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, and Step 4 before diving into the rest of the guide!

Step 5: Have a weekly review

I'm assuming that most of us won't have the time or energy to sit next to their child for every online class and every assignment.

We almost certainly will ask things like: "Do you have any homework today?" and "Did you get your math homework done?" Keeping on top of things even to that degree can be a huge task, especially when you have more than one kiddo on top of your own To-Do list!

I can't tell you how many times my daughter has said, "Yep, I finished everything for today" or my son told me, "They didn't assign math homework today" and I left it at that.

But guess what?

They often didn't actually finish what was needed because they didn't read the instructions completely. Or there actually WAS a math assignment, but they weren't paying attention when the teacher mentioned it.

And I wouldn't be surprised if sometimes they weren't being honest with me.

Not because they don't respect me, or they think lying is okay. But sometimes ADHD kids alter the truth because 1) they are impulsive and the response pops into their head, and 2) they fully intend to actually do the assignment in a few minutes so they think it's close enough to the truth.

The link between lying and ADHD could be its very own blog post, but for now let's at least consider it's a possibility.

So how do you get around this?

The plan:
Schedule a time 1-2 times per week to go over all the assignments from that week. Try to keep the review at 20 minutes or less and at a consistent time (ex. Thursday at 7:00 PM)

This can help to avoid the otherwise inevitable scenario where 2 days before the semester ends you get a notice that your child has 28 missing assignments.

You may find that having an outside person help with these weekly reviews is a better fit for your family. Sometimes your child will be more cooperative working with someone who isn't a parent--and it can improve your relationship to delegate this piece to someone else. Often a high school or college student can serve as a "tutor" that offers more general support instead of teaching a specific subject.

Staying on top of things each week can help to make projects less overwhelming for ADHD kids too. Think of it like straightening your room for 15 minutes at the end of every day instead of waiting until you can't see the floor anymore--small bites are far easier to handle!

You've got this!